Can’t Buy Class

Your humble narrator has had a trying time of late, due to a marked uptick in the number of inconsiderate old folks. I don’t mean to come off as “age-ist” or anything of that nature, but for the past several days every encounter I’ve had with rudeness has involved someone over the age of 60.

There’s a gentleman who owns an “antique store” right around the corner from the shop (it’s actually more of a “junque store”; so many of these businesses evoke thoughts of Sanford and Son) whom I’ve had encounters with before. Once, a line of customers stood in shocked silence as a police officer explained to him how many calls he responds to that could’ve been avoided if someone would have just “calmed THE FUCK down.” Those were the officer’s words, not mine.

On Thursday, this gentleman came into the store and purchased a bottle of iced tea. Another regular customer was standing by the counter, staying out of the rain while waiting for his wife to pick him up, and witnessed (and played a part in) the entire interaction.

“Can I get a straw?”

“Sure, here ya go” I replied, handing him one of the straws we keep behind the counter.

“I need a tall straw.”

“Oh, ok. Well, I don’t have any tall straws back here, but there’s plenty right next to the soda machines where you got that cup of ice (which, I just want to note, we don’t charge for).”

The other customer and I watched as this gentleman, on his way towards the soda fountain, took the completely unmolested, unopened, still perfectly serviceable “short” straw I’d given him and casually tossed it onto one of the shelves in the candy aisle…

“Seriously dude? I’d have taken that back.” I called. The guy waiting for his ride just looked at me and shook his head.

Returning to the counter to retrieve his tea, the straw-tosser says, “I don’t know why you felt the need to say anything, someone will get it. There was nothing rude about that.”

“You are always incredibly rude,” I say calmly, “You know who’ll get it? I will, because I work here and I’m the one who gets to clean up after you animals.”

“Oh, animal…that’s not rude at all, I guess.”

This was enough for the fellow waiting on his wife. He slapped one hand down on the counter and exclaimed “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“That wasn’t rude” the older man repeated. “What’s rude is the foul language, and the clerk here calling paying customers animals.”

“Okay, I’m rude. Take your shit, and your “tall straw” and piss off. Bye Felicia…”

“My name’s Pete.”

“Go away, Pete. Have a great day, see ya soon sir.”

Two days later, Pete returns and is polite and courteous.

I don’t know how long this post is; the app doesn’t have a word counter; so I’ll stop here. There are a few more stories along this vein from the last few days that I’ll share later.

One more thing, I don’t want to hear a bunch of bullshit about “maybe it’s dementia/early – onset alzheimers/etc.” This isn’t some feeble old person I’m talking about, this is an old man who runs a successful small business and makes a small fortune doing it. I firmly believe that the only reason he behaves like this is because he’s gotten away with it his entire life.)

Won’t Someone Think Of The Chickens

According to a new report, 22% of American children live BELOW the poverty level. The Department of Health and Human Service’s says the official poverty line is around $23,624 for a family of four, and when judging by this standard around 45% of America’s kids live in low-income households.

Save those chickens, assholes.


I’m a huge fan of chicken. Who isn’t? They’re delicious. Wings, thighs, breasts, legs…yum. Also, eggs. Not to put too fine a point it, I fucks with some eggs. Scrambled, sunny – side up, hardboiled, poached; for breakfast, for lunch, for dinner; on a steak, a burger, or French fries. Love me some eggs…

Know who else loves chickens? And eggs? Celebrities. Specifically, Ryan Gosling, Brad Pitt, and (apparently) Bill Maher. They love chicken and eggs so much that they’ve created a virtual media firestorm against “big box retailer” Costco.

In this humble bloggers modest opinion, if these mega – celebrities are so concerned about the plight of caged chickens, maybe instead of attempting to incite the masses, they should put their hard-earned money where their mouths are. I hear they’ve got a few bucks, imagine how many chickens they could save from a brutal, torturous, caged existence.

Maybe it’s just easier to rile up a faceless, senseless, online mob against what is (from things I’ve heard from several people who have and/or continue to work there) one of the more fair and considerate employers in the country.

It’s like Doug Stanhope said (and S. reminded me of), it’s like triage. You go by order of importance, solving problems one by one. I’m not sure that caged chickens fall into my top 20. Hopefully, all these uber – concerned celebrities will shut up and put up, then maybe we’d have this awful caged chicken epidemic solved before Messrs. Gosling, Pitt, and Maher have been relegated to the hell that all aging male celebrities face; the hell of pimping themselves out shilling erectile dysfunction medication and reverse mortgage lending…

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t care about chickens; it’s just that I care so much more about so much more.

It Works!

Of course it fucking works, morons. Whodathunkit? If you smear some goo on your belly, then wrap it in saran wrap, you lose weight. Congratulations, mouth-breathers, the “creator” of this “product” just bought a private island for 14.5 million dollars. I’ll bet he laughs himself to sleep every night.

Tip to those folks “savvy” enough to spend money on this junk; I hear if you use it on your head, it will stimulate hair growth AND make you smarter…

Same Old, Same Old

Flags cause racist violence! Railroad crossings cause car accidents! White people CAN be black, and even if the entire world thinks/knows they’re actually fucking retarded, they still feel compelled to treat them with kid gloves for fear of upsetting the precious little snowflake…WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HUMANITY?!

Donald Trump is in the lead for the GOP nomination according to the latest polls. I told S. this morning, “This is what we get when we don’t just allow the stupid people to die off…”


Things couldn’t be better on the home front. We recently relocated to a fucking gigantic bungalow in an up-and-coming neighborhood (for a ridiculously low price), S. starts grad school at the end of August, and I continue to convert people to my cult of anti-entitlement by preaching courtesy and consequences from my pulpit five days a week.


After a nearly 8 year break, I decided to start playing World of Warcraft again. With no idea how to recover my original account, I created a new one and leveled a warlock from 1-100 in about three days. After a few days of dealing with the long queues for dungeons, I made a few alts, all tanks. If you’ve read any of my older posts, you’ll know that I’ve always enjoyed playing support roles, especially tanks. I’m good at it, and while most people think it’s stressful, I find it oddly relaxing. I joined a friendly little guild, but still had to PUG (that’s “pick-up group” for the unwashed) most group content. While quite a few random groups I joined went off without a hitch, there were many that didn’t work out.

It’s like people are completely ignorant to the fact that there can be consequences to their actions. As a tank, my random dungeon finder queues are maybe 30 seconds long. No one wants to tank, because tanks get a lot of abuse from other players; in my own little way, I’m trying to change that. I gently explain to whoever is abusing other toons how long theirĀ queue is going to take if I’m forced to initiate a kick (healers don’t generally have this problem, their queues are only slightly longer than tanks. Seeing as how there’s only three roles, and everyone and their little brother wants to be a DD so they can just stand back and *pew-pew-pew* and not practice situational awareness, a damage dealers random queue can take upwards of 45 minutes. You’d figure someone who’s paying for a video game would understand this, and try to make the experience as enjoyable as possible for everyone involved. Not so. The majority of people will argue, cuss, whine and bitch over voice-chat, etc. If the kick fails, I wish everyone luck and bail. I, like them, pay to play this shit, and I don’t pay to be annoyed.

I get a lot of “suck it up and let’s finish the dungeon” from other players; fuck that whole rationale. The entire world is going to shit because people continually do fucked up things and never have to face any sort of negative repercussions. I’ve lived this long (40 tomorrow, motherfuckers!) without rewarding other people’s bad behaviour, I’ll be goddamned if I’m going to start now. For everyone who argues that I’m too harsh, I’d argue just as passionately that they’re too lenient.


If anyone still reads this shit, I’ll try to get back in the habit.