The always positive and beautifully eloquent Danica, of the blog Living a Beautiful Life, has nominated me for the One Lovely Blog Award! Yeah, I dunno either…
If you’re not familiar with her blog, you have no idea what you’re missing. Seriously, read this, it’s amazing. Okay, on with the show.
Before we get to show and tell, let me assure everyone that I will not be nominating anybody. You’re all so damn lovely, it wouldn’t be right for me to single anyone out. On to the facts:
- I enjoy really negative music. Don’t get me wrong, I listen to and enjoy all kinds of music, but some of the stuff (for example, everything on my iPod that I use at the gym) I like you’d hear and think, “damn, let’s gtf away from this guy…”
- I once convinced the DMV that I’d never owned a certain vehicle, and they obligingly wiped all the fines and penalties associated with it from my record. (I doubt someone could get away with this today)
- I don’t like most politicians, but I love political smear campaigns.
- I can be very confrontational if someone is annoying me or showing their ass in public, which kind of leads into number 5…
- I’ve been in A LOT of fights. None in the past 5-6 years though, so that’s good…
- I’ve been a huge Doctor Who fan since I was a child, and I feel kind of bad that I’m 4 (or 5) episodes behind on the new season.
- I wish comics were uncool again.
That’s seven, now I’ll rant a little.
There were a few news stories that caught my attention so far this week. The first has to do with a “Breaking Bad Walter White” action figure that’s available at Toys “R” Us. Apparently, some lady has a real problem with this doll (get over it; action figure, doll, same thing) because it comes with a knapsack full of “crystal meth”. I can understand the complaint, because up until I saw the news I was unaware that Toys “R” Us now had an adult toy aisle. See, as an adult, I haven’t been in a Toys “R” Us in about 20 years. Maybe if you notice a sign on an end-cap that says “adult toys”, you should avoid taking your kids down that aisle.
The second is a little bit touchier, so I’ll attempt to be delicate. A couple who lost their child in a hazing incident at college have taken offense at a new Ben & Jerry’s flavor called Hazed & Confused. It’s a hazelnut ice cream, if that puts anything into perspective. Again, I get it; it’s a tragedy, and I’m not going to go into a rant about sheep, or frat life, or parenting. I’ll just say this (again): ALMOST NOTHING IS ABOUT YOU! I hate to sound like an insensitive prick (that’s not true at all, I’m very good at it, but I try to avoid it for decorum’s sake), but do you stay in bed if the weather-person says it’s a “little hazy” outside? There’s a world of difference between hazelnuts (they’re small, they’re delicious, they’re f*cking food), and hazing (it’s moronic, it’s a little culty, and if someone willingly wants to endanger themselves to earn the “respect” of a group of idiots that’s their problem). I’m sorry for their loss, but please –PLEASE– just stop…If you want to educate people about the dangers of hazing, there’s probably better places to start than with f*cking ice cream. Stop using your son’s untimely demise in an attempt to shame a company into doing what you want. It’s tacky. [QUICK NOTE: I won't be the slightest bit surprised if they change the name of the ice cream.]
Finally, there’s this. An online petition has convinced the Glastonbury Music Festival to restrict the sale of Native American style headdresses. Glastonbury, in England…Native Americans…I’ve never said this before, but I just can’t even…The petition was signed by a whopping 65 people. 65! In FUCKING ENGLAND! Here’s a fun fact, Native Americans are native to; meh, forget it, this ain’t my hill to die on. Good job guys! Maybe now you could convince your country to give back all the stolen (yeah, it’s stolen) shit in your world-famous museums! Or is that too much like actual work? You’d probably need a few more people to sign the petition you couldn’t even bother to print out. I quit.
Again, thank you Danica for the lovely award. It means a lot coming from someone as talented as you. Sorry I screwed up my acceptance speech. :P